Father's Day is coming up ... and Taj Hotels is running an ad ... where they are asking you to bring your Princess ... to assure her that you will never go away (which of course you will ... the next official tour is round the corner? if not the tour, of course ... there is the day when you need to go away ... forever!), and to tell her that she is your cherished Princess ...
Beautiful ad ... if you have a Daughter. Of course, in true new age style, Taj Hotels believes that if you have a darling little Prince, or a cudly little brat, either you shouldnt be telling him how much he means to you, or, even if you want to do that, please, please ... oh, please ... dont do it at Taj Hotels! Now, of course, this is just symptomatic ... What I wanted to write about ... in today's day and age of political correctness, somehow, whenever they are talking about the high flier, the achiever, they are using the word her ... not usual that i read him when it comes to someone calling the shots ... while this is very nice ... or, it would be very nice if it actually reflected a difference in the position of women in society at the ground level ... i find it rather funny to read this.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Continuing on Bongs ...
OK ... I found out the original ... The post on Bongs comes from another post. Of course, there are a few things which need to be added. One that comes to mind ... Daak naam! And, of course the bhaalo naam. For the uninitiated ... daak naam is the name by which you are called ... the nick-name (which is assuming that everyone would be calling you by this name). Which, if you were a Bong, you would dread ... being called by all and sundry by a name like Phuku, or Piklu, or Kaju, or Kishmish, for that matter, or any such smattering of names, which not only have nothing to do with your name, they dont even have anything to do with any recognizable human language. The other name you would have, the bhaalo naam (good name, based on the assumption that the daak naam cannot be bhaalo ... a confession?), is the name you are known to the rest of the world, who are unfortunate enough to not be in on the secret of your daak naam.
A word about the bhaalo naam, too ... something i had observed, and which was corroborated by other sources, too ... probably every alternate Bong child must be named as a variant of Deb (God!). So, he is either the son of God, Debkumar, or the blessings of God, Debashish, or any linguistic or spellings variant of the word ... look at the way he behaves, there would be no way you would have been able to guess!
A word about the bhaalo naam, too ... something i had observed, and which was corroborated by other sources, too ... probably every alternate Bong child must be named as a variant of Deb (God!). So, he is either the son of God, Debkumar, or the blessings of God, Debashish, or any linguistic or spellings variant of the word ... look at the way he behaves, there would be no way you would have been able to guess!
Monday, May 26, 2008
The Princess and the Gardener ...
So not me ... but i felt the impulse to write a story ... inspired from something i had read long years ago ... dont ask me, i dont even remember. Here goes ...
There was once a princess … She lived in a beautiful palace, in a kingdom which was vast, and prosperous. The king was a kind and just king, and the people were happy. They were kind, too. The people would always help each other, and build beautiful buildings. They also grew exotic flowers. In fact, they were reputed far and wide for growing beautiful flowers. And the most beautiful flowers grew in the palace. It was said that the beauty of the flowers depended on how good the owner of the house was. And, the king was indeed a good man.
The palace garden was tended by a gardener. It had he lawns, but they were tended to by a single gardener. He was a loving and kind man, and he loved all his flowers a lot. Though, the flower he loved the most was the princess. And, unknown to the gardener, the princess also took a fancy to him. They were in love with each other. And then, one day, it came, as it must … They met, their eyes met, and they found out about their mutual feelings.
From then on, they would meet every day. Every day, they spent some wonderful moments together. Soon, word went out, as it must, and their love became the talk of the town. And it soon reached the king. The king, being a kind man, was in a dilemma … He couldn’t let this happen, and he couldn’t stop this, too. At this stage, he called his minister, and asked for his advice. The minister, a wise man advised him. The king followed his advice, and asked the gardener to move to another city in the kingdom where the king had got a new palace built. He had to go there to grow the same beautiful flowers that he grew in the palace garden. But, he must not tell the princess. Otherwise … The gardener had no choice.
Then one day, the gardener left at dawn. The princess, of course, didn’t know. She waited for him in the garden, but he didn’t come. Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, but the gardener didn’t come back to the princess. She was heartbroken, and more so, she was angry. Angry at the way he went away, after playing with her heart. It was in this frame of mind that she went on a holiday. She went to the hills, where she sought to find solace. The hills indeed were soothing, but not to the princess. Then one day, as she was walking along the cliff, she saw him. He ran to her. They met, he from love, and she from anger. As he walked towards her, she brushed him aside. He tried to talk to her, but she wouldn’t listen. She was angry. The gardener walked towards her, and as he did so, she pushed him away … Little did she realize that she was standing at the edge of the cliff … and as she pushed him away out of rage, he lost his balance, and no matter how much she tried to hold on to him, he fell. And she had to let go … for he fell to the bottom of the hill, to his death.
There was once a princess … She lived in a beautiful palace, in a kingdom which was vast, and prosperous. The king was a kind and just king, and the people were happy. They were kind, too. The people would always help each other, and build beautiful buildings. They also grew exotic flowers. In fact, they were reputed far and wide for growing beautiful flowers. And the most beautiful flowers grew in the palace. It was said that the beauty of the flowers depended on how good the owner of the house was. And, the king was indeed a good man.
The palace garden was tended by a gardener. It had he lawns, but they were tended to by a single gardener. He was a loving and kind man, and he loved all his flowers a lot. Though, the flower he loved the most was the princess. And, unknown to the gardener, the princess also took a fancy to him. They were in love with each other. And then, one day, it came, as it must … They met, their eyes met, and they found out about their mutual feelings.
From then on, they would meet every day. Every day, they spent some wonderful moments together. Soon, word went out, as it must, and their love became the talk of the town. And it soon reached the king. The king, being a kind man, was in a dilemma … He couldn’t let this happen, and he couldn’t stop this, too. At this stage, he called his minister, and asked for his advice. The minister, a wise man advised him. The king followed his advice, and asked the gardener to move to another city in the kingdom where the king had got a new palace built. He had to go there to grow the same beautiful flowers that he grew in the palace garden. But, he must not tell the princess. Otherwise … The gardener had no choice.
Then one day, the gardener left at dawn. The princess, of course, didn’t know. She waited for him in the garden, but he didn’t come. Days turned to weeks, and weeks to months, but the gardener didn’t come back to the princess. She was heartbroken, and more so, she was angry. Angry at the way he went away, after playing with her heart. It was in this frame of mind that she went on a holiday. She went to the hills, where she sought to find solace. The hills indeed were soothing, but not to the princess. Then one day, as she was walking along the cliff, she saw him. He ran to her. They met, he from love, and she from anger. As he walked towards her, she brushed him aside. He tried to talk to her, but she wouldn’t listen. She was angry. The gardener walked towards her, and as he did so, she pushed him away … Little did she realize that she was standing at the edge of the cliff … and as she pushed him away out of rage, he lost his balance, and no matter how much she tried to hold on to him, he fell. And she had to let go … for he fell to the bottom of the hill, to his death.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
IPL Coming Into It's Own
The match played yesterday was amazing ... King's XI Punjab versus Mumbai Indians. How much closer can it get, without going to the bowl-out. The difference of 1 run off the last ball ... A game which was amazing, and probably one of the best games of the tournament. The second match yesterday ... Chennai Super Kings versus Bangalore Royal Challengers. A wonderful match, and honestly i had gone off to sleep with 10 overs still to go. The result, as i found out this morning, was amazing. Not only would it gladden Dr. Mallya's heart, it also brings out another thing ... that the teams are more or less balanced. That the clincher is how well the team is clicking. Another thing that comes out ... the matches are getting to be more and more interesting as the finals near.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Bongs ...
OK ... so, this is not original, but nevertheless, true in large part! Also, this still means that i love the Baangaalee, though ...
"What the horns are to a buffalo ,deceit is to the Bengali. Large promises, smooth excuses, elaborate tissues of circumstantial falsehood, chicanery, perjury, forgery, are the weapons, offensive and defensive of the people of the Lower Ganges." said Macaulay about my brethren (not sisters, remember ...).
Overview:There are two kinds of Bengalis that I know. Probashi or Expatriate Bangalees, a fairly large and diverse group about which I can't write as I am almost (phew) one of them. And Bengalees who are from Kolkata. This group is incorrectly known as Bongs, as they are merely a subset. However, this is the only group which matters. Gokhale told of them, long years back, "What Bengal thinks today, India thinks tomorrow." To which Rene Descartes responded, "I think (today), therefore I am (Bengali)." Like all other Nobel Prize Winners, Oscar Awardees and most successful Indian cricket captains, Rene Descartes was also a Bong (this fact is not known outside of Kolkata, and never would have been, had it not been for the generous soul who authored this!).
Physical Description:
The Bong has a large head, glasses, glistening hair and dark skin. Older Bongs develop an ample stomach to balance their large heads.This happens by the age of 25. They smell of Keo Karpin. The averagelife expectancy is 65 years. What is even more impressive is what they do in those years. Outside Kolkata, regardless of weather, sex or age, Bongs can be seen in Monkey Caps. This is a must-have accessory as well as a sign to recognise other Bongs. (please see second update for more).
The Bongling can often be recognised in either over-sized or under-sized school uniforms. The Bong mother's second biggest fear (See diet for the biggest one) is that the "porer bochor o lomba hoye gele abar notun skirt kinte hobe!!" or "Next year, if you grow taller,we'll again have to buy a new skirt!!". Thus, the school uniform is selected to last at least three years. Thus the uniform sits as conspicuously on the Bongling as the plumage of a macaw.
Early Years:
While most Bongs are born with innate talents in singing, dancing, painting, film-making, cooking or embroidery, their creative talents are honed even before they can start speaking. Frequent meets are organised between infants and their successful ancestors and other relatives. MA degrees (preferably from Cambridge, at least from Presidency or Jadobpoor) are displayed over the cots. The infant is exposed to the best of Bengali thought - Marx, Bentham,Kalidas, Tolstoy, Chekov*. This increases the sizes of their heads and the height of their ambitions. Similar examples, though rare, can be found in European tradition as well, like in the case of Mozart. In India, however, Bongs have the sole preserve on such activity during infancy.
Soon, when they grow up a little, their characters are honed in the best of schools. Here, I am not referring to the South Points, LaMarts, Don Boscos and all. They are important in the nurture a Bong child goes through. What is even more important are the schools the Bong child passes through before school and after school. Many a Bong child wakes up at five o'clock in the morning to attend swimming classes. After one hour of swimming, he attends tennis coaching before rushing off to one of the South Points, La Marts etc. mentioned above. School finishes by two or so, from where he scoots along to Singing/ Instrumental Music/ Dance Classes, then tution (for atleast three of all five subjects). He rounds off the day with coaching on either Debating or Quiz. Many a Bong mother will carry the child along through this day, feeling equally energised. This behaviour is again not restricted toBongs. It also seen within kangaroos in Australia who rush along from one clump to another bush.
Growing up:
Soon the Bong attains adolescence, doesn't find friends of his age (since everyone is competing for the Nobel Prize or the Indian captaincy) and finds intimacy in conversation in his/her parents and poems of T.S. Eliot and Pablo Neruda.When school ends, they move on to the good colleges- Presidency, Xavier's or IIT Kharagpur. The best of them, though, move straight to Joo (Jadobpoor). However, in recent years, Dilli (Stephen'sobviously) is becoming the preferred destination for some escapists. In colleges, they decorate their rooms with books or portraits of Robi Guru (Tagore). On the opposite wall, men would have posters of Che/Maradona and women would have Enrique Iglesias, thus expressing solidarity with Latin American culture. All of them share equal interest in the Bong-Rock (Bhumi, Chondrobindu, Cactus, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple).
Later Years:
Bongs mature early. Critics have said that they grow old early, but that is nothing but old hat. Years of toil and Eliot would obviously bestow wisdom. The reason they look older is because the sole purpose of a Bong's life is to win the Nobel Prize or the Oscars (and in recent years, captain the Indian team). With great responsibility comes great age. Add to it the chlorine in the swimming pools and you know why Bongs grey prematurely. As far as their mission in life is concerned, they have been very successful at it. Every Indian Nobel Prize winner has been Bong. So have the Oscar Awardees. And most succesful Cricket Captains. And Bipasha Basu.Once Bongs have kids though, their mission on life changes. The only raision de'etre for them is making sure that their progeny achieves the heights that they could (or couldn't). Hence, they (mostly the female of the species) are mostly found outside of schools, colleges and tution classes. The male of the species doesn't stay behind. Not only do they contribute to their child's success by polishing their Black shoes (Mostly Bata's Bubblegummers) every morning, but also they create aculture of achievement and challenge. Every morning, they wake uparound five-thirty or six to run to the market. The best fish has to be found and somehow, every Bong family gets the best fish in the market every morning. This fish sometimes helps in making murighonto or brain food, which can't be explained to non-Bongs and doesn't need to be explained to Bongs.The other way the Bong creates and maintains a challenging environment is by standing in lines and gathering in groups. Many aBong father has refused to go to the office on entire days, if he has spotted some michil (literally, a rally; mostly, six people standing in a line), on the way to work. They will instantly join the line at the end and start protesting or challenging. Sometimes, they find that the others in line are not aligned to the cause. A famous 'challenger' stood in a 'ration shop' line for two hours, protesting against atrocities in Vietnam all the time. Some Bongs also get to start such movements. Everyone will claim that they did. This is analogous to finding the best fish.
Diet:
Diet is as important as Robindro Shongeet. There's nothing that a Bong can't eat. However, they prefer protein over other food groups. The largest source of protein for them is fish, then meat, and then mishti (sweets) made from milk. More than fish itself, it is the knowledge of fish which is coveted and enjoyed. Carbohydrates are tolerated if they are fried in oil or if it is accompaniment to fish. Luchis (somewhat like a Puri), Telebhajas(pakoras) and Phuchkas (Paani Puri) are the favoured source of carbohydrates. The young Bengali though invariably always has Farex, Lactogen and Waterbury's Compound. As far as they most important meal of the day is concerned, please do note that what dieticians have been saying in the last few years,Bongs have known for centuries. Breakphast/ tiphphin is an occasion where the entire family comes together, to watch the office-going Bong male and school-bound Bonglings eat. The Bong woman's biggest fear is that "Shokale bhaat dal mach bhaaja na kheye beriye gailo" or "In the morning, He went out without eating rice, dal and fish fry." To round off the calories, Dal is often accompanied by aaloo bhaate, aaloo bhaja, potol bhaaja and various other heartily fried stuff. Not for the faint-hearted.
Mating and procreation:
A few Bong end up being in relationships, which lead to love marriage. This is sometimes shown in movies and song. However, most do not have any such social malignancy and end up marrying the woman of their mother's dreams or men of their father's choosing. This results in mixing the right genes for the next cycle of Bongs. Love marriage, by its very nature, is random. It sometimes results in tragedy, like marrying into another country (like India). Hence, it is avoided, wherever possible.
Social Life:
Adda, robindro shongeet and cha. Repeat. Do note that the young Bong doesn't have a social life (at least not till he wins the Nobel or gets a Government job). And phootball. The Bongs have had an illustrious history of achievement in football. Every para (neighbourhood) has stories ofwhen they won the World Cup at the expense of the next one. The last time it happened in my parent's para was in 1986, when Argentina won in Mexico. Diego Maradona, who looks Bhodrolok enough, give or take afew lines of coke, scored famously using his hand, a skill which he learnt in Kolkata. Over the last few years, Brazil has been gladdening the hearts of many Zicos who were born in Kolkata around1982-86. The only team which is not Bong is Germany as they play with more efficiency and no creativity, which thus is not amenable to adda. Do not ask of a Bong doing anything on the phootball field as then the Bong will keep you occupied about Jakarta, 1962. "Chuni Goswami je Ball tule dilo PK ke. Match-er aagei bolechilo, "Ekta Ball debo. Daam kore maarish. Gol hobe"." Chuni Goswami put a football up for PK (Banerjee). He told him before the match itself, "I will give you one ball. Hit it with a bang. Goal will happen." Obviously, it is also the crowning moment of Indian phootball.
Habitat:
While you may find a Bong in other places (like occasionally in offices), the best time to observe a Bong is in his natural habitat - the best of colleges, the best of schools, the best of coffee houses and the best of culverts on top of drains or on verandahs on the side of roads (aka the Rock). It is here that he will tell you about Balzac while she will recite poetry with gay abandon. To mix in with the Bong, apply Keo Karpin to your hair and carry a jhola. Hopefully, they won't notice your small head. Do not worry about not knowing the language as the Bong likes being heard.
Language:
A Bong's language is Bengali, which is amongst the top 10 languagesin the world. However, it can be asked, as corrupted by CLR James,"What do they know of Bengali who only Bengali know?". A non-native speaker can make the mistake of asking "How are you?" to a Bong. In most non-refined languages and cultures, this is a question which is answered by a Fine or a Sehr Gut or a Getting along. To a Bong, the question is an invitation to a discussion on logic and philosophy. And the state of the digestive system. The Bong will not say, "Bhaalo Aachi" (I'm good) to "Kaimon Aachen?". Instead hewill tell you about his piles, his pituitary issues, the prawns he ate last week and the stress he is going through at work which is the cause of his mother-in-law's ulcers. Frequent mention will be made of "Amasha" (dysentry) and "Ombol" (Burning sensation in the stomach). These are not to be taken lightly, in life and in conversation. Hence, if you want to get in the good books of the Bong, carry a strip of Gelusil or Pudin Hara, or even better, a bottle of Jowaner Alok. At the very least, drop those names frequently. Soon the discussion will reach rarified heights of Hegel and Kant.
Famous Bongs:
Many famous Bongs have been referred to in this extract. Hence, this section is used to debunk that big myth about Bongs. People believe that Bong men can't be hunky. If so, then what about Abhishek Bachchan (via mother), Saif Ali Khan(via mother), John Abraham (via girlfriend), Hritik Roshan (via grandmother) and Tapash Pal?
Bongs in Literature, Film, Art:
Everywhere you care to look.
Closing Word:
Being Bong at the end of the day is a state of mind. Or, a case of being discovered by them. Best of Luck.
The best part? Rings true! :-)
"What the horns are to a buffalo ,deceit is to the Bengali. Large promises, smooth excuses, elaborate tissues of circumstantial falsehood, chicanery, perjury, forgery, are the weapons, offensive and defensive of the people of the Lower Ganges." said Macaulay about my brethren (not sisters, remember ...).
Overview:There are two kinds of Bengalis that I know. Probashi or Expatriate Bangalees, a fairly large and diverse group about which I can't write as I am almost (phew) one of them. And Bengalees who are from Kolkata. This group is incorrectly known as Bongs, as they are merely a subset. However, this is the only group which matters. Gokhale told of them, long years back, "What Bengal thinks today, India thinks tomorrow." To which Rene Descartes responded, "I think (today), therefore I am (Bengali)." Like all other Nobel Prize Winners, Oscar Awardees and most successful Indian cricket captains, Rene Descartes was also a Bong (this fact is not known outside of Kolkata, and never would have been, had it not been for the generous soul who authored this!).
Physical Description:
The Bong has a large head, glasses, glistening hair and dark skin. Older Bongs develop an ample stomach to balance their large heads.This happens by the age of 25. They smell of Keo Karpin. The averagelife expectancy is 65 years. What is even more impressive is what they do in those years. Outside Kolkata, regardless of weather, sex or age, Bongs can be seen in Monkey Caps. This is a must-have accessory as well as a sign to recognise other Bongs. (please see second update for more).
The Bongling can often be recognised in either over-sized or under-sized school uniforms. The Bong mother's second biggest fear (See diet for the biggest one) is that the "porer bochor o lomba hoye gele abar notun skirt kinte hobe!!" or "Next year, if you grow taller,we'll again have to buy a new skirt!!". Thus, the school uniform is selected to last at least three years. Thus the uniform sits as conspicuously on the Bongling as the plumage of a macaw.
Early Years:
While most Bongs are born with innate talents in singing, dancing, painting, film-making, cooking or embroidery, their creative talents are honed even before they can start speaking. Frequent meets are organised between infants and their successful ancestors and other relatives. MA degrees (preferably from Cambridge, at least from Presidency or Jadobpoor) are displayed over the cots. The infant is exposed to the best of Bengali thought - Marx, Bentham,Kalidas, Tolstoy, Chekov*. This increases the sizes of their heads and the height of their ambitions. Similar examples, though rare, can be found in European tradition as well, like in the case of Mozart. In India, however, Bongs have the sole preserve on such activity during infancy.
Soon, when they grow up a little, their characters are honed in the best of schools. Here, I am not referring to the South Points, LaMarts, Don Boscos and all. They are important in the nurture a Bong child goes through. What is even more important are the schools the Bong child passes through before school and after school. Many a Bong child wakes up at five o'clock in the morning to attend swimming classes. After one hour of swimming, he attends tennis coaching before rushing off to one of the South Points, La Marts etc. mentioned above. School finishes by two or so, from where he scoots along to Singing/ Instrumental Music/ Dance Classes, then tution (for atleast three of all five subjects). He rounds off the day with coaching on either Debating or Quiz. Many a Bong mother will carry the child along through this day, feeling equally energised. This behaviour is again not restricted toBongs. It also seen within kangaroos in Australia who rush along from one clump to another bush.
Growing up:
Soon the Bong attains adolescence, doesn't find friends of his age (since everyone is competing for the Nobel Prize or the Indian captaincy) and finds intimacy in conversation in his/her parents and poems of T.S. Eliot and Pablo Neruda.When school ends, they move on to the good colleges- Presidency, Xavier's or IIT Kharagpur. The best of them, though, move straight to Joo (Jadobpoor). However, in recent years, Dilli (Stephen'sobviously) is becoming the preferred destination for some escapists. In colleges, they decorate their rooms with books or portraits of Robi Guru (Tagore). On the opposite wall, men would have posters of Che/Maradona and women would have Enrique Iglesias, thus expressing solidarity with Latin American culture. All of them share equal interest in the Bong-Rock (Bhumi, Chondrobindu, Cactus, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and Deep Purple).
Later Years:
Bongs mature early. Critics have said that they grow old early, but that is nothing but old hat. Years of toil and Eliot would obviously bestow wisdom. The reason they look older is because the sole purpose of a Bong's life is to win the Nobel Prize or the Oscars (and in recent years, captain the Indian team). With great responsibility comes great age. Add to it the chlorine in the swimming pools and you know why Bongs grey prematurely. As far as their mission in life is concerned, they have been very successful at it. Every Indian Nobel Prize winner has been Bong. So have the Oscar Awardees. And most succesful Cricket Captains. And Bipasha Basu.Once Bongs have kids though, their mission on life changes. The only raision de'etre for them is making sure that their progeny achieves the heights that they could (or couldn't). Hence, they (mostly the female of the species) are mostly found outside of schools, colleges and tution classes. The male of the species doesn't stay behind. Not only do they contribute to their child's success by polishing their Black shoes (Mostly Bata's Bubblegummers) every morning, but also they create aculture of achievement and challenge. Every morning, they wake uparound five-thirty or six to run to the market. The best fish has to be found and somehow, every Bong family gets the best fish in the market every morning. This fish sometimes helps in making murighonto or brain food, which can't be explained to non-Bongs and doesn't need to be explained to Bongs.The other way the Bong creates and maintains a challenging environment is by standing in lines and gathering in groups. Many aBong father has refused to go to the office on entire days, if he has spotted some michil (literally, a rally; mostly, six people standing in a line), on the way to work. They will instantly join the line at the end and start protesting or challenging. Sometimes, they find that the others in line are not aligned to the cause. A famous 'challenger' stood in a 'ration shop' line for two hours, protesting against atrocities in Vietnam all the time. Some Bongs also get to start such movements. Everyone will claim that they did. This is analogous to finding the best fish.
Diet:
Diet is as important as Robindro Shongeet. There's nothing that a Bong can't eat. However, they prefer protein over other food groups. The largest source of protein for them is fish, then meat, and then mishti (sweets) made from milk. More than fish itself, it is the knowledge of fish which is coveted and enjoyed. Carbohydrates are tolerated if they are fried in oil or if it is accompaniment to fish. Luchis (somewhat like a Puri), Telebhajas(pakoras) and Phuchkas (Paani Puri) are the favoured source of carbohydrates. The young Bengali though invariably always has Farex, Lactogen and Waterbury's Compound. As far as they most important meal of the day is concerned, please do note that what dieticians have been saying in the last few years,Bongs have known for centuries. Breakphast/ tiphphin is an occasion where the entire family comes together, to watch the office-going Bong male and school-bound Bonglings eat. The Bong woman's biggest fear is that "Shokale bhaat dal mach bhaaja na kheye beriye gailo" or "In the morning, He went out without eating rice, dal and fish fry." To round off the calories, Dal is often accompanied by aaloo bhaate, aaloo bhaja, potol bhaaja and various other heartily fried stuff. Not for the faint-hearted.
Mating and procreation:
A few Bong end up being in relationships, which lead to love marriage. This is sometimes shown in movies and song. However, most do not have any such social malignancy and end up marrying the woman of their mother's dreams or men of their father's choosing. This results in mixing the right genes for the next cycle of Bongs. Love marriage, by its very nature, is random. It sometimes results in tragedy, like marrying into another country (like India). Hence, it is avoided, wherever possible.
Social Life:
Adda, robindro shongeet and cha. Repeat. Do note that the young Bong doesn't have a social life (at least not till he wins the Nobel or gets a Government job). And phootball. The Bongs have had an illustrious history of achievement in football. Every para (neighbourhood) has stories ofwhen they won the World Cup at the expense of the next one. The last time it happened in my parent's para was in 1986, when Argentina won in Mexico. Diego Maradona, who looks Bhodrolok enough, give or take afew lines of coke, scored famously using his hand, a skill which he learnt in Kolkata. Over the last few years, Brazil has been gladdening the hearts of many Zicos who were born in Kolkata around1982-86. The only team which is not Bong is Germany as they play with more efficiency and no creativity, which thus is not amenable to adda. Do not ask of a Bong doing anything on the phootball field as then the Bong will keep you occupied about Jakarta, 1962. "Chuni Goswami je Ball tule dilo PK ke. Match-er aagei bolechilo, "Ekta Ball debo. Daam kore maarish. Gol hobe"." Chuni Goswami put a football up for PK (Banerjee). He told him before the match itself, "I will give you one ball. Hit it with a bang. Goal will happen." Obviously, it is also the crowning moment of Indian phootball.
Habitat:
While you may find a Bong in other places (like occasionally in offices), the best time to observe a Bong is in his natural habitat - the best of colleges, the best of schools, the best of coffee houses and the best of culverts on top of drains or on verandahs on the side of roads (aka the Rock). It is here that he will tell you about Balzac while she will recite poetry with gay abandon. To mix in with the Bong, apply Keo Karpin to your hair and carry a jhola. Hopefully, they won't notice your small head. Do not worry about not knowing the language as the Bong likes being heard.
Language:
A Bong's language is Bengali, which is amongst the top 10 languagesin the world. However, it can be asked, as corrupted by CLR James,"What do they know of Bengali who only Bengali know?". A non-native speaker can make the mistake of asking "How are you?" to a Bong. In most non-refined languages and cultures, this is a question which is answered by a Fine or a Sehr Gut or a Getting along. To a Bong, the question is an invitation to a discussion on logic and philosophy. And the state of the digestive system. The Bong will not say, "Bhaalo Aachi" (I'm good) to "Kaimon Aachen?". Instead hewill tell you about his piles, his pituitary issues, the prawns he ate last week and the stress he is going through at work which is the cause of his mother-in-law's ulcers. Frequent mention will be made of "Amasha" (dysentry) and "Ombol" (Burning sensation in the stomach). These are not to be taken lightly, in life and in conversation. Hence, if you want to get in the good books of the Bong, carry a strip of Gelusil or Pudin Hara, or even better, a bottle of Jowaner Alok. At the very least, drop those names frequently. Soon the discussion will reach rarified heights of Hegel and Kant.
Famous Bongs:
Many famous Bongs have been referred to in this extract. Hence, this section is used to debunk that big myth about Bongs. People believe that Bong men can't be hunky. If so, then what about Abhishek Bachchan (via mother), Saif Ali Khan(via mother), John Abraham (via girlfriend), Hritik Roshan (via grandmother) and Tapash Pal?
Bongs in Literature, Film, Art:
Everywhere you care to look.
Closing Word:
Being Bong at the end of the day is a state of mind. Or, a case of being discovered by them. Best of Luck.
The best part? Rings true! :-)
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Basis for a State
I am reading The Indus Sage (i am sure you would know this by now, but for those of us who dont ...) these days. So, for the next few days, you can expect more on the subject. One issue the book raises is that Indus (modern day Pakistan, the geography around the Indus river, and its tributaries), and India have always been two distinct civilizations. By and large, i agree with the hypothesis, but there are areas of the argument which Mr. Ahsan raises, which i cant get myself to agree with.
First of all, i am not too comfortable with the idea of defining a civilization based on geographical characteristics alone. While historically, we have talked about the Indus Valley civilization, and most ancient civilizations flourished around sources of water, the scenario today doesnt necessarily seem to be the same. The importance of having big cities close to rivers is not as much of importance today as it was in ancient ages. This is not to undermine the importance of water sources, but this is taking into consideration the way human civilization has evolved over the last few millenia.
As such, i am more comfortable with defining a civilization culturally rather than based on proximity to geographical characteristics by themselves. This, to my mind, is a definition which tends to be far more robust. This doesnt really tend to go down well with the modern definition of Pakistan, but then a lot of other things dont either.
1. I get the feeling that the entire idea of the Indus civilization is related to Islam. Historically, it may not have been, since the region was primarily Hindu and Buddhist over a period of time, but since the advent of Islam, the identity seems to be more and derived, and even more so since the creation of Pakistan, the identity of Pakistan seems to be have been defined even more based on Islam if Mohajirs are people who reverted to their Indus heritage, even if they find their home and roots in the Gangetic plains. Having said that, i do agree with Mr. Ahsan that Islam is not the defining characteristic of the Indus civilization. More about this in point 3.
2. If the civilization is going to be defined based on geographical characteristics, then the logic holds true, but if it is not, then the entire argument of declaring Kashmir an inseparable part of the Indus civilization loses its entire foundation. For, culturally, Kashimir can in no way found to be congruous to the Punjabi or Sindhi. Besides, if we are to define a civilization based purely on geographical characteristics, then maybe Tibet should also be a part of Indus, since the Indus river originates there. This doesnt stand to reason.
3. None of these considerations (except religion), can define the true nature of Indus, considering East Pakistan being a part of Pakistan. But, this by itself proves that religion is not the founding stone of the Indus of today, given that if it were, the centrifugal force which created Bangladesh would not have existed.
In a nutshell, i agree with Mr. Ahsan that the culture and civilization of Indus is distinct from an Indian civilization. I just dont agree with too many of the conclusions he seems to draw from this fact.
First of all, i am not too comfortable with the idea of defining a civilization based on geographical characteristics alone. While historically, we have talked about the Indus Valley civilization, and most ancient civilizations flourished around sources of water, the scenario today doesnt necessarily seem to be the same. The importance of having big cities close to rivers is not as much of importance today as it was in ancient ages. This is not to undermine the importance of water sources, but this is taking into consideration the way human civilization has evolved over the last few millenia.
As such, i am more comfortable with defining a civilization culturally rather than based on proximity to geographical characteristics by themselves. This, to my mind, is a definition which tends to be far more robust. This doesnt really tend to go down well with the modern definition of Pakistan, but then a lot of other things dont either.
1. I get the feeling that the entire idea of the Indus civilization is related to Islam. Historically, it may not have been, since the region was primarily Hindu and Buddhist over a period of time, but since the advent of Islam, the identity seems to be more and derived, and even more so since the creation of Pakistan, the identity of Pakistan seems to be have been defined even more based on Islam if Mohajirs are people who reverted to their Indus heritage, even if they find their home and roots in the Gangetic plains. Having said that, i do agree with Mr. Ahsan that Islam is not the defining characteristic of the Indus civilization. More about this in point 3.
2. If the civilization is going to be defined based on geographical characteristics, then the logic holds true, but if it is not, then the entire argument of declaring Kashmir an inseparable part of the Indus civilization loses its entire foundation. For, culturally, Kashimir can in no way found to be congruous to the Punjabi or Sindhi. Besides, if we are to define a civilization based purely on geographical characteristics, then maybe Tibet should also be a part of Indus, since the Indus river originates there. This doesnt stand to reason.
3. None of these considerations (except religion), can define the true nature of Indus, considering East Pakistan being a part of Pakistan. But, this by itself proves that religion is not the founding stone of the Indus of today, given that if it were, the centrifugal force which created Bangladesh would not have existed.
In a nutshell, i agree with Mr. Ahsan that the culture and civilization of Indus is distinct from an Indian civilization. I just dont agree with too many of the conclusions he seems to draw from this fact.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Something I Am Reading
These days i am reading a book ... The Indus Saga ... From Patliputra to Partition, by Aitzaz Ahsan. The book is a well written, well thought out story about the civilization of what today is Pakistan. Nice book ... Though, there are a few things i wanted to write about ...
Firstly, the Gurdaspur Kathiawad line ... Mr. Ahsan makes the argument that this is the line which divides two different civilizations. While i do agree that culturally, the Gangetic plain is quite distinct from the Indus civilization, i think the line that Mr. Ahsan has drawn comes more from a sense of current political geography rather than anything more concrete. For instance, this line traces quite well the Radcliffe Award. Is this just a coincidence? Probably not. Which would suggest that the positioning of this divide is more than scholarly debate.
Another thing that stands out ... the creation of Pakistan. While the civilization of the Indus region is distinct from the larger Indian civilization, the fact remains ... the creation of Pakistan was not a civilizational consequence. Nor was it a religious consequence of the deep divide between the Hindu and Muslim populations of the subcontinent. If it was a religious consequence, Mohammad Ali Jinnah wouldnt have declared Pakistan as being a secular state, where the religion a person professes to would not come in the way of how the nation treats him. Which leaves one aspect ... the political aspect. This goes to suggest that the creation of Pakistan was purely a political move, and shouldnt be seen as anything else. That this is backed by civilizational differences probably doesnt bear on the debate.
Another thing which i dont quite agree with ... that the Mohajir is an Indus person reverting to his roots. How does a Mohajir, who may come from Lucknow become an Indus person? How does he lay a claim to the history of Indus, that is larger than that of a Punjabi Hindu, or Sikh, who hails from the Punjab, whose Father might have called Lahore or Rawalpindi home? This argument suggests an Islamic connection to the civilization of Pakistan, which is definitely not the thesis of the book.
Firstly, the Gurdaspur Kathiawad line ... Mr. Ahsan makes the argument that this is the line which divides two different civilizations. While i do agree that culturally, the Gangetic plain is quite distinct from the Indus civilization, i think the line that Mr. Ahsan has drawn comes more from a sense of current political geography rather than anything more concrete. For instance, this line traces quite well the Radcliffe Award. Is this just a coincidence? Probably not. Which would suggest that the positioning of this divide is more than scholarly debate.
Another thing that stands out ... the creation of Pakistan. While the civilization of the Indus region is distinct from the larger Indian civilization, the fact remains ... the creation of Pakistan was not a civilizational consequence. Nor was it a religious consequence of the deep divide between the Hindu and Muslim populations of the subcontinent. If it was a religious consequence, Mohammad Ali Jinnah wouldnt have declared Pakistan as being a secular state, where the religion a person professes to would not come in the way of how the nation treats him. Which leaves one aspect ... the political aspect. This goes to suggest that the creation of Pakistan was purely a political move, and shouldnt be seen as anything else. That this is backed by civilizational differences probably doesnt bear on the debate.
Another thing which i dont quite agree with ... that the Mohajir is an Indus person reverting to his roots. How does a Mohajir, who may come from Lucknow become an Indus person? How does he lay a claim to the history of Indus, that is larger than that of a Punjabi Hindu, or Sikh, who hails from the Punjab, whose Father might have called Lahore or Rawalpindi home? This argument suggests an Islamic connection to the civilization of Pakistan, which is definitely not the thesis of the book.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
